So, I finished the painstaking process of writing the script for our skit. I thought maybe some of you would enjoy just a small sample of what we will be doing so here's just an sampling. This is our opening night skit to introduce our characters and set the mood for what will be happening. First off, our cast of characters: (See if you can guess which character I will be playing.)
CAPTAIN-
The captain is a hard, weathered pirate. He is very set in his ways and very evil. His motivation comes from his for adventure, treasure, , and hard work. He is really a combination of all of his crew, though he doesn’t like to admit it much. He’s tough, carries a great air of authority and demands respect.
1st MATE-
The 1st mate is a student of the Captain. He longs to have the same qualities that he admires in his leader and would follow him anywhere. He is loyal, detail oriented, and responsible for charting the course of the ship. The Captain looks to him to have things planned out and “ship-shape”. The 1st Mate is also responsible for the cabin boy. He teaches the boy everything he knows and protects the boy from the other members of the crew.
“SMARTY-PANTS” PIRATE-
“Smarty-pants”, as most of the men call him, is the know-it-all of the bunch. He has a lot of book smarts, but not a lot of anything else. His books are his friends and he runs to them often. He is not prone to hard work and avoids it when he can. He looks at most of the crew as sloppy, immature, and a real bore. The captain simply refers to him as “Mr. S”.
“VIOLENT” PIRATE-
“Violent”, or Mr. Vile, as the Captain calls him, lives up to his name. He is a man bent on violent acts and raging tempers. He loves doing “piratey” things and plundering the seas. He and “Greedy” are best of friends (usually) and feed off of each other’s passions. “Violent” loves to get “Spastic” worked up and then really gets a kick out of knocking him unconscious. His answer to everything is usually walking the plank, or some other form of drastic action.
“GREEDY” PIRATE-
“Greedy” also lives up to his name. He has an insatiable for gold and always carries around a small bag filled with it, just to fulfill his passion. He hangs out with “Violent” a lot and loves to talk about “wickedness, covetousness, and maliciousness” with him. He also enjoys taunting “Spastic” and watching him go crazy.
“SPASTIC” PIRATE-
“Spastic” is usually quite and just goes about his business. That is until someone says a word that sets him off . . . then he turns into a raging, insane, screaming thing that can only be stopped by being knocked unconscious. The crew enjoys “setting him off’ and gets a kick out of knocking him out. Only “Macho” really cares and tries to protect “Spastic” from hurting himself. Every time “Spastic” is knocked unconscious, “Macho” is there to revive him . . . even though he is quite rough with him.
“MACHO” PIRATE-
“Macho” is a great big man of action. He is all heart and the biggest servant of them all. If anything needs to be done, he is the first to volunteer . . . usually with the phrase, “I’ll do it!” The crew calls him “Manly” because he is the strongest one in the bunch. The only problem is, he doesn’t know his own strength and usually causes more damage trying to revive “Spastic” than “Violent” did when he knocked him out. He sees “Spastic” as his “little buddy” and tries to protect him. There is not a lot that goes on in his brain.
ONE-EYED WILMA-
A stowaway on board, Wilma disguises herself as a man and tries to stay in the shadows. That is until she is discovered after the shipwreck. She is notorious as the only female pirate to have ever captained a ship. Her reputation precedes her and all of the crew knows who she is. She is able to hold her own against even against the toughest of them. She’s had a bit of bad luck recently and is seeking to get a new ship and crew to follow her. She loves to be in control.
CABIN BOY-
Our cabin boy has dreamed of life on the sea as long as he can remember. It was the 1st Mate who found him and brought him on board the ship. His duties are simple; serve the Captain first, then the crew. The crew likes to take advantage of his service and he complies quietly. He looks to the 1st Mate as a father figure and wants to learn everything he can from him. Though he is often quiet, he knows his job and performs it well.
CHIEF-
The Chief is really the whole reason why the pirates are even on the island. He knows the true Treasure and desires to share that with the pirates. The only problem is, he can’t speak English. So that makes it difficult.
NATIVES-
The natives follow the orders of their chief. They can often be seen sneaking through the jungle and delivering food and mysterious notes to the pirates.
********************************************
Now for the storyline. Make sure you read the lines out loud with a pirate voice!
DAY 1 (Monday)
Episode 1- Shipwrecked (Opening)
Romans 3:10
(Scene opens with the ship sailing across the ocean on a peaceful, quite day. We see four pirates on deck, VIOLENT, GREEDY, MACHO, and SPASTIC. They revel in the excitement of plundering and pillaging the earth.)
VIOLENT: Ah mates! This is the life! Sailing on the open seas with nothin’ but the wind are our backs and the smell of salt water on our flesh! I’m hankerin’ for a little excitement, if you know what I mean?
GREEDY: Aye shipmate! A little treasure hunting would do me some good. I’m longing to get my hands on some fresh gold. Untouched and priceless jewels!
MACHO: (working hard on something on the ship) I love workin’ on the ship!
(VIOLENT & GREEDY roll their eyes and laugh. SPASTIC just sits and watches the waves, almost obliterated to the fact that the men are speaking.)
VIOLENT: What do you say there? (slaps SPASTIC on the back, he doesn’t respond)
GREEDY: You know him . . . odd that one is! Only responds to certain words one might say. And then, what a frightful sight he is! All jumping and shouting and screaming like the devil is upon ‘em . . . and the only way to pull him out of his fearful state, is to knock ‘em down flat!
VIOLENT: (laughs) Aye, mate! (points)
TOGETHER: SPAZ! (pointing and laughing)
MACHO: Leave ‘em alone.
VIOLENT: Let’s set him off, mate! Let’s ‘ave some fun wit ‘em.
GREEDY: Yeah, let’s do it . . . (whispers in SPASTIC’s ear) Treasure . . .
(As they go, SPASTIC starts shaking and groaning . . . on the verge of exploding.)
VIOLENT: (joins in) Plunder.
GREEDY: Pillage.
VIOLENT: Danger.
GREEDY: Darkness!
VIOLENT: Curses!
GREEDY: Cats!
VIOLENT: Cats?!!
SMARTY: (entering) Gentlemen, your childish ways are so tiresome . . . and such a bore. Get back to your duties and quit lollygagging around the ship.
GREEDY: (disappointed) Oh, come off it, mate? All we wanted is a little fun!
SMARTY: Yes, a little fun (mocking) . . . it always leads to you doing something stupid! Why don’t you follow his example and get to work! (motioning to MACHO)
VIOLENT: Well, I don’t see YOU helping with the ship! All you do is read books and act like our mother! (Tears up at the thought of his mom.) Dear Mumsy . . .
GREEDY: Besides, the ship is on course and sailing just fine! There’s nothing left to do but enjoy the ride. So lay off us you sea urchin!
VIOLENT: OR YOU’LL WALK THE PLANK!!!!
GREEDY: YES! And DIE!
SPASTIC: (Awoken by the word.) DIE?!! !!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Sudden chaos ensues as SPASTIC goes totally, well . . . spastic. He screams and flails his arms in some fruitless attempt to ward of some unseen enemy. The other pirates scream as they try to avoid him. After a few moments, VIOLENT finally finds a blunt object and knocks SPASTIC flat on his back. MACHO turns and tries to revive SPASTIC. Peace ensues once again.)
SMARTY: See what you’ve done?! Unbelievable!
VIOLENT: Well, at least we’ll ‘ave peace for a while and can speak freely.
GREEDY: So, about this voyage? What are we doing again?
SMARTY: Our intention is to commandeer this ship, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weasely black guts out!
V & G: (very un-pirate like) COOL!
(MACHO finally gives up trying to revive SPASTIC and resumes his work.)
1st MATE: (enter) Avast! Ye, Lubbars! Make fast the ropes! There’ll be no lyin’ around on MY ship!
VIOLENT: But you ain’t the captain!
1st MATE: (angry) But I’m the first mate! And if you think I don’t have a say on who stays and who walks the plank—
CAPTAIN: (interrupts) That’ll be all Mr. Vast! (1st MATE cowers under the captain’s command.) Now, what seems to be the trouble here, lads?
GREEDY: Nothin’ cap’n. Just doin’ our duty.
CAPTAIN: And what would that be, Mr. G?
(GREEDY dumbfounded.)
VIOLENT: Uh, we’re preparin’ ta . . . go ashore and plunder, sir!
CAPTAIN: Ashore? Mr. Vile we are miles from any landmass, ain’t that right Mr. Vast?
1st MATE: Aye, sir! I charted the course myself and we are days from reaching shore, sir!
CAPTAIN: In that case, Mr. Vile—
VIOLENT: Uh, it’s Vile ‘Nt, sir . . .
CAPTAIN: (sighs) Mr. Vile . . . ‘Nt. I suggest you follow the example of Mr. Manly here and get back to your duties. And you, Mr. S, tend to the lookout, tell me if you spot any other ships!
V,G,& S: Aye-Aye, sir!
(SPASTIC stirs and begins waking up.)
CAPTAIN: What’s this?
GREEDY: Uh, he had another one of his spells, sir.
MACHO: ‘Ere now, it twern’t his fault cap’n
CAPTAIN: Oh, is see (knowingly) . . . and no more of this nonsense, or you’ll both be flogged!
SPASTIC: (The word starts to set him off again) Flogged?! Whipped?! Beat—
(VIOLENT knocks SPASTIC on the head before he can start again.)
CAPTAIN: Right. Back to work!
(Crew springs into action. Even though there’s not much to do . . . they at least act like they are busy.)
SMARTY: Well, men it appear you have everything together. So, I’ll just go back to my reading—(starts to leave)
VIOLENT: No you don’t, Mr. S. You’re going to stay right here and get your hands dirty with some good ol’ fashion, sailor work! Help Manly there scrub the deck.
SMARTY: Oh, I can’t get my hands dirty; it’ll ruin my books!
VIOLENT: Then you’ll watch as I slowly remove you fingernails—
MACHO: Enough, Vile . . . Mr. S is ‘spossed to be on the lookout for other ships.
GREEDY: Right, let’s just get back to talking about what we are going to do!
VIOLENT: Yes! Our evil dealings!
SMARTY: Your wickedness.
GREEDY: And covetousness.
VIOLENT: And maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: (look like they’ve just got a great idea)
Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
CABIN BOY: Excuse me, sirs?
VIOLENT: You! Cabin boy, go and fetch me some water! I’m dryer than a hot beach in the blazin’ sun!
CABIN BOY: But, sir? I found this. (he holds up a dress)
GREEDY: Great galloping sea horse! Look at that!
MACHO: What kind of trousers are these?! All frills and no pockets!
SMARTY: It appears, sirs, to be a dress of some sort.
(Silent.)
SMARTY: A dress that a WOMAN would wear?
ALL: Ohhhhh!!
VIOLENT: What is a woman’s dress doing on our ship? Captain!
(CAPTAIN and 1st MATE enter. SPASTIC wakes up. ALL gather around the dress, along with another unknown “pirate” with a hat pulled over his face.)
GREEDY: It’s bad luck ‘aving a woman on board our ship!
CAPTAIN: We’ve got to search for her! No one can stowaway on MY boat!
(The chaos is interrupted by a loud thunderclap. Crew jumps in fear and a voice is heard over the noise.)
VOICE: “WHO AMONG YOU IS WITHOUT SIN? BECAUSE OF THE WICKEDNESS OF THE PEOPLE, I WILL POUR OUT MY JUDGMENT UPON THEM!!!”
(Suddenly, thunder and lightning strike the ship and the calm is interrupted by a terrible storm. The crew hastens to the ropes while the captain barks order. The effort is in vain as the ship strikes something in the darkness and crashes.)BLACKOUT/MUSIC
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now if you actually read all of that, you probably are bored, or just don't have much to do right now, so hopefully that put a little smile on your face. Once VBT starts, I will begin updating on what happens. Stay tuned!
CAPTAIN-
The captain is a hard, weathered pirate. He is very set in his ways and very evil. His motivation comes from his for adventure, treasure, , and hard work. He is really a combination of all of his crew, though he doesn’t like to admit it much. He’s tough, carries a great air of authority and demands respect.
1st MATE-
The 1st mate is a student of the Captain. He longs to have the same qualities that he admires in his leader and would follow him anywhere. He is loyal, detail oriented, and responsible for charting the course of the ship. The Captain looks to him to have things planned out and “ship-shape”. The 1st Mate is also responsible for the cabin boy. He teaches the boy everything he knows and protects the boy from the other members of the crew.
“SMARTY-PANTS” PIRATE-
“Smarty-pants”, as most of the men call him, is the know-it-all of the bunch. He has a lot of book smarts, but not a lot of anything else. His books are his friends and he runs to them often. He is not prone to hard work and avoids it when he can. He looks at most of the crew as sloppy, immature, and a real bore. The captain simply refers to him as “Mr. S”.
“VIOLENT” PIRATE-
“Violent”, or Mr. Vile, as the Captain calls him, lives up to his name. He is a man bent on violent acts and raging tempers. He loves doing “piratey” things and plundering the seas. He and “Greedy” are best of friends (usually) and feed off of each other’s passions. “Violent” loves to get “Spastic” worked up and then really gets a kick out of knocking him unconscious. His answer to everything is usually walking the plank, or some other form of drastic action.
“GREEDY” PIRATE-
“Greedy” also lives up to his name. He has an insatiable for gold and always carries around a small bag filled with it, just to fulfill his passion. He hangs out with “Violent” a lot and loves to talk about “wickedness, covetousness, and maliciousness” with him. He also enjoys taunting “Spastic” and watching him go crazy.
“SPASTIC” PIRATE-
“Spastic” is usually quite and just goes about his business. That is until someone says a word that sets him off . . . then he turns into a raging, insane, screaming thing that can only be stopped by being knocked unconscious. The crew enjoys “setting him off’ and gets a kick out of knocking him out. Only “Macho” really cares and tries to protect “Spastic” from hurting himself. Every time “Spastic” is knocked unconscious, “Macho” is there to revive him . . . even though he is quite rough with him.
“MACHO” PIRATE-
“Macho” is a great big man of action. He is all heart and the biggest servant of them all. If anything needs to be done, he is the first to volunteer . . . usually with the phrase, “I’ll do it!” The crew calls him “Manly” because he is the strongest one in the bunch. The only problem is, he doesn’t know his own strength and usually causes more damage trying to revive “Spastic” than “Violent” did when he knocked him out. He sees “Spastic” as his “little buddy” and tries to protect him. There is not a lot that goes on in his brain.
ONE-EYED WILMA-
A stowaway on board, Wilma disguises herself as a man and tries to stay in the shadows. That is until she is discovered after the shipwreck. She is notorious as the only female pirate to have ever captained a ship. Her reputation precedes her and all of the crew knows who she is. She is able to hold her own against even against the toughest of them. She’s had a bit of bad luck recently and is seeking to get a new ship and crew to follow her. She loves to be in control.
CABIN BOY-
Our cabin boy has dreamed of life on the sea as long as he can remember. It was the 1st Mate who found him and brought him on board the ship. His duties are simple; serve the Captain first, then the crew. The crew likes to take advantage of his service and he complies quietly. He looks to the 1st Mate as a father figure and wants to learn everything he can from him. Though he is often quiet, he knows his job and performs it well.
CHIEF-
The Chief is really the whole reason why the pirates are even on the island. He knows the true Treasure and desires to share that with the pirates. The only problem is, he can’t speak English. So that makes it difficult.
NATIVES-
The natives follow the orders of their chief. They can often be seen sneaking through the jungle and delivering food and mysterious notes to the pirates.
********************************************
Now for the storyline. Make sure you read the lines out loud with a pirate voice!
DAY 1 (Monday)
Episode 1- Shipwrecked (Opening)
Romans 3:10
(Scene opens with the ship sailing across the ocean on a peaceful, quite day. We see four pirates on deck, VIOLENT, GREEDY, MACHO, and SPASTIC. They revel in the excitement of plundering and pillaging the earth.)
VIOLENT: Ah mates! This is the life! Sailing on the open seas with nothin’ but the wind are our backs and the smell of salt water on our flesh! I’m hankerin’ for a little excitement, if you know what I mean?
GREEDY: Aye shipmate! A little treasure hunting would do me some good. I’m longing to get my hands on some fresh gold. Untouched and priceless jewels!
MACHO: (working hard on something on the ship) I love workin’ on the ship!
(VIOLENT & GREEDY roll their eyes and laugh. SPASTIC just sits and watches the waves, almost obliterated to the fact that the men are speaking.)
VIOLENT: What do you say there? (slaps SPASTIC on the back, he doesn’t respond)
GREEDY: You know him . . . odd that one is! Only responds to certain words one might say. And then, what a frightful sight he is! All jumping and shouting and screaming like the devil is upon ‘em . . . and the only way to pull him out of his fearful state, is to knock ‘em down flat!
VIOLENT: (laughs) Aye, mate! (points)
TOGETHER: SPAZ! (pointing and laughing)
MACHO: Leave ‘em alone.
VIOLENT: Let’s set him off, mate! Let’s ‘ave some fun wit ‘em.
GREEDY: Yeah, let’s do it . . . (whispers in SPASTIC’s ear) Treasure . . .
(As they go, SPASTIC starts shaking and groaning . . . on the verge of exploding.)
VIOLENT: (joins in) Plunder.
GREEDY: Pillage.
VIOLENT: Danger.
GREEDY: Darkness!
VIOLENT: Curses!
GREEDY: Cats!
VIOLENT: Cats?!!
SMARTY: (entering) Gentlemen, your childish ways are so tiresome . . . and such a bore. Get back to your duties and quit lollygagging around the ship.
GREEDY: (disappointed) Oh, come off it, mate? All we wanted is a little fun!
SMARTY: Yes, a little fun (mocking) . . . it always leads to you doing something stupid! Why don’t you follow his example and get to work! (motioning to MACHO)
VIOLENT: Well, I don’t see YOU helping with the ship! All you do is read books and act like our mother! (Tears up at the thought of his mom.) Dear Mumsy . . .
GREEDY: Besides, the ship is on course and sailing just fine! There’s nothing left to do but enjoy the ride. So lay off us you sea urchin!
VIOLENT: OR YOU’LL WALK THE PLANK!!!!
GREEDY: YES! And DIE!
SPASTIC: (Awoken by the word.) DIE?!! !!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
(Sudden chaos ensues as SPASTIC goes totally, well . . . spastic. He screams and flails his arms in some fruitless attempt to ward of some unseen enemy. The other pirates scream as they try to avoid him. After a few moments, VIOLENT finally finds a blunt object and knocks SPASTIC flat on his back. MACHO turns and tries to revive SPASTIC. Peace ensues once again.)
SMARTY: See what you’ve done?! Unbelievable!
VIOLENT: Well, at least we’ll ‘ave peace for a while and can speak freely.
GREEDY: So, about this voyage? What are we doing again?
SMARTY: Our intention is to commandeer this ship, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer our weasely black guts out!
V & G: (very un-pirate like) COOL!
(MACHO finally gives up trying to revive SPASTIC and resumes his work.)
1st MATE: (enter) Avast! Ye, Lubbars! Make fast the ropes! There’ll be no lyin’ around on MY ship!
VIOLENT: But you ain’t the captain!
1st MATE: (angry) But I’m the first mate! And if you think I don’t have a say on who stays and who walks the plank—
CAPTAIN: (interrupts) That’ll be all Mr. Vast! (1st MATE cowers under the captain’s command.) Now, what seems to be the trouble here, lads?
GREEDY: Nothin’ cap’n. Just doin’ our duty.
CAPTAIN: And what would that be, Mr. G?
(GREEDY dumbfounded.)
VIOLENT: Uh, we’re preparin’ ta . . . go ashore and plunder, sir!
CAPTAIN: Ashore? Mr. Vile we are miles from any landmass, ain’t that right Mr. Vast?
1st MATE: Aye, sir! I charted the course myself and we are days from reaching shore, sir!
CAPTAIN: In that case, Mr. Vile—
VIOLENT: Uh, it’s Vile ‘Nt, sir . . .
CAPTAIN: (sighs) Mr. Vile . . . ‘Nt. I suggest you follow the example of Mr. Manly here and get back to your duties. And you, Mr. S, tend to the lookout, tell me if you spot any other ships!
V,G,& S: Aye-Aye, sir!
(SPASTIC stirs and begins waking up.)
CAPTAIN: What’s this?
GREEDY: Uh, he had another one of his spells, sir.
MACHO: ‘Ere now, it twern’t his fault cap’n
CAPTAIN: Oh, is see (knowingly) . . . and no more of this nonsense, or you’ll both be flogged!
SPASTIC: (The word starts to set him off again) Flogged?! Whipped?! Beat—
(VIOLENT knocks SPASTIC on the head before he can start again.)
CAPTAIN: Right. Back to work!
(Crew springs into action. Even though there’s not much to do . . . they at least act like they are busy.)
SMARTY: Well, men it appear you have everything together. So, I’ll just go back to my reading—(starts to leave)
VIOLENT: No you don’t, Mr. S. You’re going to stay right here and get your hands dirty with some good ol’ fashion, sailor work! Help Manly there scrub the deck.
SMARTY: Oh, I can’t get my hands dirty; it’ll ruin my books!
VIOLENT: Then you’ll watch as I slowly remove you fingernails—
MACHO: Enough, Vile . . . Mr. S is ‘spossed to be on the lookout for other ships.
GREEDY: Right, let’s just get back to talking about what we are going to do!
VIOLENT: Yes! Our evil dealings!
SMARTY: Your wickedness.
GREEDY: And covetousness.
VIOLENT: And maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: (look like they’ve just got a great idea)
Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
V&G: Wickedness, and Covetousness, and Maliciousness!
SMARTY: Oh my!
CABIN BOY: Excuse me, sirs?
VIOLENT: You! Cabin boy, go and fetch me some water! I’m dryer than a hot beach in the blazin’ sun!
CABIN BOY: But, sir? I found this. (he holds up a dress)
GREEDY: Great galloping sea horse! Look at that!
MACHO: What kind of trousers are these?! All frills and no pockets!
SMARTY: It appears, sirs, to be a dress of some sort.
(Silent.)
SMARTY: A dress that a WOMAN would wear?
ALL: Ohhhhh!!
VIOLENT: What is a woman’s dress doing on our ship? Captain!
(CAPTAIN and 1st MATE enter. SPASTIC wakes up. ALL gather around the dress, along with another unknown “pirate” with a hat pulled over his face.)
GREEDY: It’s bad luck ‘aving a woman on board our ship!
CAPTAIN: We’ve got to search for her! No one can stowaway on MY boat!
(The chaos is interrupted by a loud thunderclap. Crew jumps in fear and a voice is heard over the noise.)
VOICE: “WHO AMONG YOU IS WITHOUT SIN? BECAUSE OF THE WICKEDNESS OF THE PEOPLE, I WILL POUR OUT MY JUDGMENT UPON THEM!!!”
(Suddenly, thunder and lightning strike the ship and the calm is interrupted by a terrible storm. The crew hastens to the ropes while the captain barks order. The effort is in vain as the ship strikes something in the darkness and crashes.)BLACKOUT/MUSIC
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now if you actually read all of that, you probably are bored, or just don't have much to do right now, so hopefully that put a little smile on your face. Once VBT starts, I will begin updating on what happens. Stay tuned!
